The Hormone Guide Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!
Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or work colleague!
DANGEROUS | SAFER | SAFEST | ULTRA SAFE |
What's for dinner? | Can I help you with dinner? | Where would you like to go for dinner? | Here, have some wine. |
Are you wearing that? | Wow, you sure look good in brown! | WOW! Look at you! | Here, have some wine |
What are you so worked up about? | Could we be overreacting? | Here's my paycheck. | Here, have some wine. |
Should you be eating that? | You know, there are a lot of apples left. | Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that? | Here, have some wine. |
What did you DO all day? | I hope you didn't over-do it today. | I've always loved you in that robe! | Here, have some wine. |
13 Things PMS Stands For:
- Pass My Shotgun
- Psychotic Mood Shift
- Perpetual Munching Spree
- Puffy Mid-Section
- People Make me Sick
- Provide Me with Sweets
- Pardon My Sobbing
- Pimples May Surface
- Pass My Sweat pants
- Pissy Mood Syndrome
- Plainly; Men Suck
- Pack My Stuff
- and my favoriteone:
- Potential Murder Suspect
and men who need a warning.
Psychotic Mood Shift, absolutely the most correct of all the choices!
ReplyDeletelol...coming from a man who is single! lol
ReplyDeleteAverage American: it's my favorite, too, but only because it is the most accurate!
ReplyDeleteFathead: Dude, you obviously never met NEO's ex-wife. All the wine in the world wouldn't have improved her. Seriously. His current "single" status is only as detrimental as when Michael Vick's dogs suddenly found themselves without an owner.
Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteAverage American and Armed and Christian: I believe that is definitely the right one.
ReplyDeleteWhy, Fathead?
Because I used to be married. And anyone who has been in any type of relationship for longer than six (6) months could appreciate this list.
Shoprat: Don't tell the women where you got this information. Pssst. It's a secret!
Has any of this been cross-referenced to "that time of the month"? Might help us dodge the bullet or the occasional rolling pin...
ReplyDeleteHi CCC. I just stumbled upon your blog as I was looking for like-minded bloggers I could swap ideas with. So far, you're the one I have the most in common with. (Christian, Patriot, Comedian) Please don't be offended, but I'm also pleased to have found a black man who didn't vote for Obama because he was black. That puts you light-years ahead of Colin Powell in my book. I didn't vote for Barry because he's a socialist. I don't care what shade of melanin they come in; I hate socialism! And now we must endure 4 years of having every leftist fringe group in America thinking they are legitimized by this administration so they can push their Big-Government agenda on us. Keep in touch and let me know how the "Would you like some wine?" ploy works out for you. I may just have to invest in a case of 3-buck Chuck's to survive the pre-menopausal mood swings of Mrs. WingMaster. "Cheers"
ReplyDeleteTom: I think it may have been because a woman sent this to me. The only way we're dodging bullets is to be infused with Kryptonian blood. As for the rolling pin, grenade or bowling?
ReplyDeleteWingMaster: I could never vote for Obama, President Infanticide. I voted for Chuck Baldwin. Would I do it again, yes! The THUMB is coming down from this administration and anyone who wants to be free will be seen as a liability to the socialist regime. I think, if the Independent Parties cannot come together, we'll be stuck with him for eight long years.
Ha. Hilarious. Thanks for that!
ReplyDeleteCCC-I haven't commented in awhile-still enjoy your site-I particularly liked the 'To Kill or Not to Kill' ...
ReplyDeleteand--you are so right about the Republican Party being 'too late'..
Carol-CS
LOL! Thanks for the laugh, Neo. I needed that! :)
ReplyDelete